The day before yesterday, I posted something rather cryptic. I couldn’t discuss it much since I was on my way to court.

My former attorney was suing me for breach of contract. Fortunately, I had plenty of evidence showing that I was not in breach and that the amount supposedly owed was way off.

All in all, the court date went exceptionally well and it’s good to have it behind me.

Of course, there’s other things going on in my world. Sometimes things radically change and you have to roll with it and accept the new status quo. I think that some people will have more of a hard time dealing with what has happened then others, but let’s be honest, they’ve been looking out for themselves. It’s time for me to look out for myself and to stop allowing their issues to drag me down.

If you think this is about you, you’re probably wrong. The folks I’m talking about are too far gone to realize anything is wrong anymore.

It’s a pity really. Bright, intelligent, caring people have slowly been reduced to animals. Pathetic.

Hopefully, I won’t go out like a bitch.

I can’t really go into too much detail yet. It’ll be in a future post to be sure, especially if I am victorious.

Still, I feel that I’m gett old and that the end game isn’t really that far off for me. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to die and it’s sooner then later. To put this in perspective, I’m thinking the 40′s or 50′s.

I have absolutely nothing rational to base this on other then the fact that there is a considerable amount of illness on my mother’s side of the family. Even still, this shouldn’t be a prevailing thought.

An interesting pattern. As I get more tired throughout the day, the sense of foreboding gets worse. This isn’t natural.

The truth is that I know I’m going to die and the timing of my death is known to no one but God, but at the same time, I don’t want to spend my entire life worrying about my mortality. I want peace back.

Last night I spent some time researching PBX security and ITL standards. I’m starting to think that it’s really a bunch of people sitting around contemplating worse case scenarios without actually being in the trenches. That’s exactly what our industry needs. More people making suggestions that aren’t practical in daily life.

Frankly, I don’t have the time or money to disassemble a $400 piece of equipment (voiding the warranty) to see what chipsets it uses and then trying to reverse engineer any code it has burned on an eeprom. I’m trying to keep dial-tone at people’s desk.

They say I can go to the manufacturer to get info on exactly how the switch is programmed to handle user features and any possible back doors left behind, but let’s think about that for a minute.

1. Like they’re really going to come out and say they left a back door into the system.

2. Doesn’t that smack of social engineering?

3. If I’m really that good, shouldn’t I already know?

I know #3 is really a bitch cop-out, but it’s still there in the back of my mind.

I’m still not completely sold on Shoretel. There’s allot of cool things it can do, but I’m still left wondering if it’s the best solution for our business. I wasn’t part of the decision process and I feel like it was a bit hastey of a decision. It wasn’t that expensive for a short term fix, but I’m concerned it’s going to taint any future decisions when we look to replace our old digital PBX. I’m also concerned that there is a prevailing attitude that the switch is outdated.

As I see it, the old girl still has a few good years left in her and the fact that she’s capable of VoIP only adds to her longevity. The 100+K still on the books from her purchase doesn’t hurt my case either.

I strongly suspect that the biggest proponent of switching to Shoretel feels like we’re throwing good money after bad, but my customers are still making and receiving calls with an uptime of roughly 98%. I’m giving 2% to the time we brought the switch down to replace the god-switch in our electrical system.

And just as I’m typing out snarky remarks involving kool-aid drinking christians, my cat knocks water onto my keyboard. Nice.

Anyway, a little bit about how this all came about. . .

Nowhere in the Bible does it say anything about the dreaded “F-Word”. Yep. Nowhere does God set a bush on fire and command, “Thou shalt not drop F-Bombs.”

Allow me to say FUCK. There. It’s out.

But you see, there’s a giant “but” in all this. Christ was pretty clear about running around being a total ass. From everything I’ve gathered in his teachings, it all boils down to treating people with respect and genuinely caring about the people around you, regardless of what you may/may not think of them.

Of course, the biggest issue with qouting chapter and verse on this subject is the fact that the subject is completely missing. Nowhere in the bible will you find “fuck”. Not even in an academic sense.

So, I’ve indulged in some liberal use of vulgarity, but what is the point? The point is this. . . society does not have the right to judge what a sin is. Deep down inside, we all know the difference between right and wrong. This is something that God gave you. Keep off the Kool-Aid and think for yourself.

The ironic part, we will all be outragously polite while we stab our fellow man in the back.

Things have changed allot in my life. Many of the things have been completely obvious, while others have been a bit more subtle .

2008 was a challenging year and this year promises to be just as challenging, but I’m completely convinced that there is traction under my feet and that counts for so much more than anything the world can throw at me.

The biggest change has been the understanding that, regardless of how trite it may sound, there is something (someone) more powerful in this world than I am.

And now you’re thinking that I’ve become some sort of Jesus freak, bible thumper, Kool-Aide Drinking bafoon. Meh, pick your insult of choice. It’s all good.

So, I’m looking at my life and everything that has happened to me in the past 33 years and it scared me to think that I might have some sort of calling. It paralyzed me and closed my mind to any idea of how I could be of service. There are so many things to get into and many roads for us to walk down. I’ve learned allot of lessons.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Things have changed in my world. This blog has certainly changed. This is the first step in my calling to be a preacher.

heh. Who knew?