Somewhere along the line, I became aware of my own mortality and it messes with me on a regular basis. I’m really not that old and I find that the folks I’m surounded by don’t think that I’m looking for an excuse to die of old age.
Still, I feel that I’m gett old and that the end game isn’t really that far off for me. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to die and it’s sooner then later. To put this in perspective, I’m thinking the 40′s or 50′s.
I have absolutely nothing rational to base this on other then the fact that there is a considerable amount of illness on my mother’s side of the family. Even still, this shouldn’t be a prevailing thought.
An interesting pattern. As I get more tired throughout the day, the sense of foreboding gets worse. This isn’t natural.
The truth is that I know I’m going to die and the timing of my death is known to no one but God, but at the same time, I don’t want to spend my entire life worrying about my mortality. I want peace back.
June 9, 2010 at 5:02 am |
One has to wonder, is he resurrected yet again? For how long, perhaps forever like Jesus in revelations “behold i’m alive for ever more” or maybe you were just late for Ascension Thursday taking the extra day to enjoy snow cones & porn in lieu of facing an inevitable mortality.